Sex is exciting. Sometimes it’s so exciting that we can’t even do it for as long as we’d like to!
Premature ejaculation is an issue lots of guys (including myself) struggle with. Notice I didn’t call it a problem. I don’t think premature ejaculation is a “problem” and I don’t think it’s something you should feel bad about! It actually means that your body works and that you really enjoy having sex!
It’s better to think of it as something that you can manage with different tools. I’ll give you some of those tools in this article!
Remember: It’s totally normal
The good news is that there’s absolutely nothing wrong with you biologically if you cum very fast. In fact, evolutionarily speaking, ejaculating quickly is a reproductive advantage! When you’re having sex, you’re putting yourself in a vulnerable position, so better to finish the act up quickly before you get attacked!
The main problem with cumming too quickly is that it’s likely to disappoint your partner because they probably want to enjoy sex for longer than a few seconds!
This is also a challenge if you want to become a male pornstar. One of the important aspects of performing on camera is being able to control when you cum so that you can film as much content as needed for the scene.
I’ve always had an issue with ejaculating too fast, especially when I’m having sex with a new partner (this happens a lot in porn!) Sex just feels so damn good LOL! If I was able to figure out how to manage it, then so can you!
Train yourself to last longer
There are many things you can do to train yourself to last longer in bed. Usually, the problem for lots of men is that they’ve actually trained their body to do the exact opposite! If you masturbated when you were growing up, chances are you know what it’s like to try to finish as fast as possible so no one catches you.
While that’s a good strategy to avoid embarrassment, it’s a terrible strategy for lasting longer in bed. An easy way to start training yourself out of this habit is to just try and masturbate for longer periods of time. Hold yourself off from orgasm for as long as possible.
I personally think it’s better to try and do this without the use of porn because then you can pay more attention to how your body feels and take note of the specific sensations that you feel as you’re about to cum. By doing it this way, you can know how to hold yourself off more.
Do your kegel exercises
Kegel exercises are a great way to help strengthen the exact muscles you would use to prevent yourself from ejaculating. These exercises work by strengthening the pelvic floor muscles. You probably know what this muscle is already because it’s the one you use to stop yourself from urinating mid-stream.
The great thing about kegel exercises is that you can do them absolutely anywhere and no one will even know that you’re doing them! Here’s how:
- Make sure you have an empty bladder and are in a comfortable, relaxed position.
- Tighten your pelvic floor muscles and hold in this tightened position for 3 – 5 minutes
- Relax your pelvic floor muscles for 3 – 5 seconds
- Repeat for as many repetitions as you want
It’s that simple! You don’t need any fancy equipment. You can do it in school or at work. No one will know you’re secretly training to become a sex god!
Understand your triggers
One of the best ways to stop yourself from cumming too fast is to understand what is likely to turn you on the most or make you feel the most excited. For me, personally, doggy style sex feels much better than other positions. I don’t really know why, but I’m always more excited when I’m having sex with a girl from behind. So, I usually try not to start with that position, otherwise I won’t be able to last very long!
Everyone has a different set of triggers, so you should try to learn what yours are. You can structure your sex session so that you don’t do the most exciting things until you’ve already been having sex for a while or you’ve already given the girl plenty of orgasms.
Knowing your triggers can also help you cum on command. Need to finish quickly? Just do something that turns you on a LOT!
Changing sex positions is a great way to stop yourself from going over the edge too soon! If you feel yourself getting close to orgasm, just stop, change positions and keep going. The pause in-between positions will give you a quick break from stimulation that should help you go for a bit longer.
If you need a break that’s longer than 5 – 10 seconds, you can also try taking a break from penetration entirely. If I feel myself getting close to orgasm, I’ll stop, pull out and then finger the girl or go down on her for a while. That way, you can keep the momentum going: she can keep feeling good while I get enough recovery time to go back to normal sex!
Think about something else
One tactic guys use to help them last longer in bed is to think about something totally unrelated to sex that takes their focus off the hot action that’s happening right in front of them.
One way that I’ve used this tactic is to just start doubling numbers in my head. So, I’ll just continue this sequence: 1, 2, 4, 8, 16, 24, 32, etc.
It starts off easy, but at some point it gets a bit challenging as you try and calculate the next number. You could also pick two random numbers and add or multiply them in your head. Usually this can take my focus away from sex and prevent me from ejaculating.
I personally don’t like to do this that much in my personal sex life because it takes me out of the present moment and also decreases my enjoyment, but it’s sometimes helpful when I’m filming porn because I know I need to get a certain amount of footage for a specific scene!
If none of the above tactics are working, then you might just want to have an orgasm! If you feel like the girl wasn’t satisfied, apologize and offer to go down on her or use your fingers until she also has an orgasm, or just tell her you can go again after you start to get an erection again! Sometimes, it might even be exciting for a girl to know that she was so hot or so skilled in bed that you couldn’t even control yourself! Just be sure to offer her some extra pleasure instead of rolling over and falling asleep!
Should you use numbing gels?
Numbing gels seem to be a common solution for prolonging orgasm for men. They basically work by numbing the penis so you don’t feel all the normal stimulation during penetration.
First of all: if you do decide to use any numbing products, definitely tell your partner before you start having sex because whatever you’re using is likely to make your partner feel numb as well!
In my personal opinion, numbing products are probably not a great solution because they just mask the problem and also take away lots of physical enjoyment from both parties. I would only use these as an absolute last resort, and even then, I think it’s probably better to just cum fast than to make sex a numb and boring affair.